F#CK HAM-ASS Unisex heavy blend zip hoodie

Wrap yourself in fleece, not fear. This hoodie’s got the warmth, the comfort, and the message that says exactly what you think every time the sirens wail. With a sturdy metal zipper, roomy front pockets, and a hood that keeps you covered, it’s the kind of gear that lasts longer than HAM-ASS’ ceasefires.

• 50% cotton, 50% polyester—blended better than their “unity governments”
• 8 oz/yd² (271 g/m²) soft fleece inside and out
• Air-jet spun yarn = smooth feel, reduced piling (HAM-ASS piles enough problems on its own)
• Regular fit for real life, not propaganda posters
• Metal zipper (stronger than their leadership)
• Front pouch pockets for snacks, phones, or spare sarcasm
• Double-needle stitching because weak seams are for weak movements
• Safety Green option: ANSI/ISEA 107 compliant (visibility HAM-ASS never wanted you to have)

Made on demand—because unlike their rocket attacks, we don’t mass produce waste.

Size guide